Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
