I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my shit smells like andre
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
