i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
