Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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