dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
last night I used snow as a chaser
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
