Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Even my vagina gasped.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
