I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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