honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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