Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
