wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
