I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
