so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
