I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
