A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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