Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She bit a glass in half.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have aggressive nipples.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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