Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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