The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
