hotel room ftw
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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