When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
