She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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