so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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