uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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