Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
