Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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