The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
