Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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