I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
