Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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