We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
