thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
