I think my fart just growled at me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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