If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
