just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
