Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
