making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
