it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
