Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Even my vagina gasped.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
