Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
