The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
