I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
