I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
