when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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