so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
