Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
