Apparently you make a good broom.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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