i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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