Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
