Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
