Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
