please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
